I LOVE THIS.

Jon: Oh, wait, we have dip?
Me: Yeah.
Jon: What kind?
Me: French Onion... but it's not very good.
Jon: *waves hand* Let me try it. I've had good french onion dips and I've had bad french onion dips.
Jon: *dip, crunch, munch*
Me: ...
Jon: *straight-faced* 3.5

I've been putting so much time into my screenplay, that this morning, when I woke up, my first thought was:

"I need to text Professor Sheridan."

Yeah, no--he's a character in my screenplay. Does not exist. Thanks.

Me: Wait, Justin, you went to private school?
Justin: Yes, a Catholic school.
Me: Oh. Wow.
Justin: All boys.
Me: What?? Why?
Justin: I don't know, because it was close to my house. I could walk there.
Me: Okay-- is your family catholic?
Justin: Uhhh, I don't know. Maybe.